Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.
— Brené Brown
The Quality of Belonging
Your test results suggest that you are currently wrestling with issues having to do with your comfort level at work; comfort at the level of the physical environment, but even more, the emotional environment. Belonging is about our ease of movement and our ability to feel comfortable as we make our way through the world. It’s our level of ease during interactions with colleagues and bosses and clients.
The feeling that we belong makes a huge difference in how well we manage stress and how much real enjoyment we can take from challenging or novel situations. Belonging regulates the enjoyment of curiosity balanced by the certainty of what’s familiar.
Does your work help or hinder you in living out the Quality of Belonging?
Belonging In the Workplace
The Quality of Belonging in the workplace starts with what we call the “work atmosphere.“ Most human beings have a nose for this kind of atmosphere and can tell very quickly if people feel comfortable with each other or if there is a sense of coldness, remoteness, suspicion, or a tension building to some sort of crisis.
Over millennia of social bonding our internal antenna have become extremely sensitive to sniffing out the social atmosphere and finding ways to avoid conflict and seek safety.
One of the most powerful teachings of The Great Resignation is how much humans have suffered in this aspect of well-being. The slings and arrows, the small barbs, the micro aggressions, the overt or covert bullying, blame and shame games, backstabbing, all of these can create toxic social environments in which we are asked to work.
But this quality of security is not just to be found - or found lacking - in the social interactions at work; it is also hardwired into the physical environment. And this is an aspect that has huge repercussions in our post-pandemic work world.
We were all sent home from the office because of the danger of contagion, but there are dozens of other structural issues that erode safety and security:
There is the commute to work itself which can be sometimes perilous (subway shootings, road rage) and always boring and exhausting (one hour average time spent in car for daily commute) in the major cities;
There is the lack of direct access to sunshine and fresh air in the majority of office buildings;
There is the discomfort of the ubiquitous cubicle which was engineered for economic efficiency and not for the support of individual productivity;
There is the indifference to workers’ sensitivity to sounds, sights, and smells which may disrupt physical, mental or emotional wellbeing.
All of these have immediate as well as longterm consequences on our health.
When the Quality of Belonging is missing . . .
When the Quality of Belonging is improperly tended at work we tend to feel alienated or isolated. We feel either targeted in unpleasant ways, or simply ignored - which can be even more painful.
In response, we may find ourselves hiding out in our cubicles, trying to avoid the interactions that are hurtful or destabilizing. Or, we may be right in the thick of it and still feel as if we’re completely alone, that no one actually sees us for who we are.
Two years of dealing with a global pandemic where our closest friends and allies could potentially infect us with a lethal disease was a huge stressor for everyone and companies who are on top of the situation will take this into account before breezing their way back into “business as usual.” We are all suffering to some extent from post-traumatic stress and the ability to find the Quality of Belongingness again at work may take a long time to re-establish.
Why Name these Qualities as Colors?
There are many developmental theories that look at human needs, motivations and fulfillment and arrive at a schema with seven stages or levels. The fact that there is so much overlap in these theories suggests is that there is something there which all these observant human beings have noticed. For this deep assessment I offer my own synthesis of these developmental theories, using seven simple colored blocks to designate the seven key challenges to human beings - those needs or yearnings that require our mastery in order to thrive and live into our full humanity.
In adopting the metaphor of the seven colors, I am following in the footsteps of author Christopher Hill who felt that the rainbow colors - as defined by Isaac Newton: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet - aided in an intuitive understanding of the 7-level Chakra system. It has become so adopted by the West that I use it for convenience - and for aesthetic purposes.
There are other metaphors which may feel more natural to you than the color spectrum, and I encourage you to find your own analogy. What I am describing as Qualities are purely abstract and can be associated with any color, texture, sound, flavor, and image.
Read About the Other Qualities in the Color Wheel
The Seven Qualities in your Work and Life
There are seven Qualities that align with multiple inventories of human values, motivations, and needs: Maslow’s Hierarchy, the Barrett Value System, Erik Erickson’s Model of Development, Ken Wilbur’s Spiral Matrix, the Chakra System, and others. The three courses I offer engage the participants in a much more detailed exploration of how these seven Qualities inform your experience of work and leisure, and how you can bring greater balance, health, creativity and joy to your work by integrating them in your daily life.